Monday, January 19, 2009


If I didn't know any better, I'd think that the SO actually liked my selection this week.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she can recite the entire movie, or that she knows this movie better than I do.  Released in 1985, this movie obviously molded the SO into what she is today, and I'm actually surprised she's willing to admit that she loves a movie so much.  Starring just about everybody, it's The Goonies!

I have to admit, this is a great movie from the childhood, but if I were to write about this movie as if I were a reviewer from 1985, I'm not sure I would be so kind.  But then if I were from 1985, I'd take the DeLorean and stop Steven Spielberg from letting George Lucas put out that crap we call the fourth Indiana Jones movie.  That's right, after seeing The Goonies, I may think that Steven was struggling with the writing, but I'd rather he have written the fourth Indy instead of that thing we called a movie this past summer.  And I digress...

If I were to review the movie, I would say the start of the movie is a little confusing.  We're thrown into this world really without understanding what is taking place.  Yeah, we get it that these kids are in trouble because they have to leave due to possible foreclosures, but it's unclear exactly why.  We slowly learn, but it really isn't until you watch the outtakes from the DVD that you understand some of the gaps in the goonie logic (the outtakes really do help, and I would suggest listening to the commentary - the cast is all grown up!  It's really cool).  If you don't pay attention, you probably would miss the whole reason why they're called the Goonies (from the goon-docks region of Astoria, Oregon).  There seem to be so many holes at the beginning, with all of these characters, like Mikey, Data, Mouth, and Chunk (the movie would only be half as awesome without Chunk...who am I kidding, it would blow without Chunk).

And speaking of Chunk, I'm pretty sure my baby embodies everything that is Chunk.  No, she has an amazing body and is the most beautiful woman in the world, but it's the little things that I noticed in the movie that make me realize she has clearly been affected, permanently, by Chunk.  Whenever she gets happy or is satiated from a meal, she does a variation of the Truffle Shuffle.  I won't embarrass her anymore, but next time you see her, just think about the similarities.  It's scary - oh, and don't even get her started on quoting from that movie...

Back to the movie, I can really see how this can be meant to be the Indiana Jones for young adults.  And just like those movies, you're thrown into the middle of the story in this movie.  If you get past this issue, the movie itself plays very well.  Yeah, it may not be reality, but movies like this are meant to be fun for us.  And if you're reading this, Steven, please do not remake this movie.  I know it's the cool thing to do right now, but if you ruin another piece of my childhood, I'm pretty sure I will go all Sloth on your ass.

It's still pretty amazing the cast that is in this movie: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman... so it is pretty amazing to see how young these actors were and where they've gone since.  In order to really appreciate this movie, you have to reach into your inner child and just love the adventure these kids get themselves into.  If you were a kid, you'd think it was so cool to be going after buried treasure underneath your town to save your home.  So even though it may follow a similar trend of kid movies of the 1980s, it sets itself apart because of the characters we encounter along the way and how much we relate to them.  It may be their time up there, but it's our time down here...something we can all relate to, even if we're no longer that young.  We just have to stay focused, because we all have gotten further than Chester Copperpot, so we have to keep going.

Overall, I would give this movie 3 Baby Ruths out of 5, and for nostalgia, it's definitely 5 Pinchers of Power out of 5.  And since nostalgia always wins out, the movie has to stay.  I think the  SO would die if we lost this one.

(Side Note:  If this all works out, there will be a devil's advocate to my reviews, mostly because I guess there needs to be another voice in this debate about what movies should stay or go.  I think it's a clever ruse by the SO, but seeing as it's one of my boys from college, I guess I'll allow it.  If all works out, you can follow the other half of this debate very soon.)

Alright, next time I'll try a movie from one of the other categories, assuming the SO doesn't get tired of the whole Siskel and Ebert thing (mixed in with a little Bourdain).  Later!

1 comment:

  1. Mikey: It was a retropactum!
    Brandon: Rectospectum!
    Mikey: See! That's what I said! You always contradict me... I know what I was saying. It was on the history of Astoria and these are the rejects!
    Chunk: Kinda like us... Mikey. The Goonies.
    Mouth: I'm not a reject!