And it begins...

Not even all the way through my previous post, the SO was complaining about the 18 (now 20 - I found Shampoo was on last night, and I completely missed The Miracle of Morgan's Creek in the 31 Days) movies we have to watch, but then she caught herself when she finally read that it would be 18 (now 20!) times the SO would complain about watching that many movies.  If she would only learn to read all the way through, she wouldn't be so predictable in her response...

Sorry for the short post (I'll have something tomorrow about a great deal at a great place with an eye for style, possibly a bull's...) so I'll leave you with this:

Why this clip?  Who knows?  All I know is it's funny, and we all need a laugh once in a while...

Later!

31 days of AWESOME!

So I just got the schedule for TCM's "31 Days of Oscars," where they show movies that received Academy Award nominations.  "Why is this awesome", you say?  "And shouldn't you be watching all of your DVDs first?"  Hell, no.  And I'll tell you why.

A little thing called the AFI (American Film Institute) come out with lists every year since 1998 highlighting some of the best films and actors in American film history.  I've been trying to complete two of the lists.  The first is the 100 greatest films of all time (1998 version).  The other is the 100 greatest comedies of all time (2000).  I started out with films I could rent from the library (and there are a lot!).  But I haven't been able to really dedicate my time to fulfilling these lists since graduate school.  Yeah, so five years have gone by and I'm not much closer than I was before.

But that will change with what TCM is doing.  I know they have had this before on the cable network, but this year I have the viewing list and I have DVR and the world is good...

So in the next month or so, there will be 11 movies from the greatest films list and 8 from the comedies list (of these, the only repeat for both lists is The Apartment).  So that means 18 movies, 18 times to hear the SO complain that we're watching another movie.  And I like it!  The DVR will definitely get a good workout, and my reviewing skills should get some practice, too.

What?  You thought I'd only review the movies from my DVD list?  Well, I thought about it, and since these are movies, and I'm trying to work on my mad skills as a writer and a film critic, I should at least critique these movies that Oscar decided were worthy of accolades.  So in the next week, you'll be getting a lot more of me.  And a lot more stories about the SO.  Should be a good time.  Later!

Really?!? Part Deux

You may remember from the earlier post, "Really?!?", that I described how I stumbled upon a $500 copy of Pineapple Express.  You remember, the SO and I went out on a slighty icy Saturday, I tricked her into going to Best Buy to get the DVD, then we went to the grocery store where the idiot (sorry, dumbass) ran into my SO's car, then left while we were in the grocery store.  And I had a picture of the dent and how I went off on how people need to be more responsible...

Well, I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!!

Why did I use this quote?  Because finally my SO's insurance (rhymes with My-Ko) decided to do something about fixing the car's door, after it went from the Indianapolis branch to the South Bend branch and finally to the Chicago branch.  Yeah, for some reason the insurance company has a new system put in, and the Midwest is the last to receive this updated system.  So yeah, it's been 2+ weeks for them to finally do something about it.  The liason who's been helping the SO has been really nice and should receive rave reviews from her.  As far as the Indy branch...

Yeah, that bad of a review.  But back to why I'm giving you part 2 of this story.  The price tag for all of this?  $1800+!!!  Now I know why the A-hole left.  And you can see where this is going.  That's right...

My $500 copy of Pinapple Express is now worth $1800!  I told you it might be a good idea to buy my copy before the price skyrockets.  But now it's going to cost you $1800.  If you act in the next 10 minutes, I'll throw in the dented door FOR FREE!!  You can't get any better than this, a used door that has character.  People will buy this stuff up, so don't be the follower, be the leader.  Finally, I'll also throw in this: 

Nah, not really.  I just wanted to show this because it's disturbing to think about the Sham-Wow guy and his nuts.  Did someone in the production crew really think we wouldn't catch onto this?  Amazing, really.  Anywho, I think I really need to watch Pineapple Express because it has become my most expensive DVD ever and probably will be for eternity (knock on wood...).  Later!

"It's a bit nutty..."

Alright, so here's the scoop, literally, on what happened yesterday that led to such a short review post for this past weekend's movie.  You probably won't believe me, especially since I don't have pictures, but trust me (and my SO) that it happened.  It was almost like how a horror movie starts out...

So the SO and I yesterday morning were getting ready to shower and dress for lab/class, etc. and she had somehow brought up how I can't buy and/or eat any peanut butter because of the whole salmonella thing, and of course her stomach growls as if an alien were ready to pop out of her.  

mort

 de Kane et sortie de l'alien
Uploaded by morgoth29200

Little did we know that another type of horror movie scene cliche was about to occur.  The SO had to use the little bathroom but couldn't because the toilet was clogged (guilty!), so I took it upon myself to unclog it with a plunger.  I started "plunging" but it wouldn't unclog.  Usually the toilet unclogs rather easily, but I thought it was a doozy of a clog.  After five flushes, it still wasn't clear.  After that moment, the horror began...

So not quite that scary (although the SO is half-Asian...)

Actually, while I was in the little bathroom, I could hear the SO scream in the shower in the main bathroom.  I had a funny feeling it had something to do with my clog.  When I got in there, there was water under the toilet and some dark gunk in the shower.  Luckily the SO wasn't hit by the gunk.  She told me that she had heard a gurgling from the toilet and noticed water around the base and tried to call me but I didn't hear her.  Because she was near the back of the shower, the gunk spewing out didn't hit her.

I quickly called maintenance for our apartment and they came shortly.  When they showed up, I told them both bathrooms had issues.  When I went back to the little bathroom, the entire floor of the tub was covered in a brown gunk (I'm sure you can think of what that might be...yeah).  They started working on the pipes behind our apartment, and the SO and I decided to go to lab/class...without taking a shower.  I felt so dirty throughout the day, but what could I do?  I was glad when I called the apartment office in the afternoon that the problem was resolved, and the issue was someone was putting PAPER TOWEL DOWN THE TOILET!  WTF!!!  Who does that?  Seriously, we've received e-mails about this before, but someone hasn't learned or can't spend the time reading and knowing not to throw stuff down the toilet that isn't

 human waste or toilet paper.  Sheesh!

The SO and I were dreading going back to the apartment to clean both bathrooms.  The mix of Febreze and poo awaited us...

When we got home, I slowly went to the little bathroom to notice the mess was gone!  The maintenance crew had cleaned it up!  We still scrubbed the toilets, tubs, and floors, but we have to give a HUGE shout-out to those guys.  After having such clean bathrooms, we finally could take a shower and feel clean, and out little adventure came full circle before bed.  We have a board game called "Would you rather? Sick, Twisted and Wrong Version" and we like to just read the questions.  One of the questions we read last night asked us if we would rather eat a goop of hair from the shower drain or bugs off a monkey's butt.  Based off of our shower drain, I would gladly eat bugs off a monkey's butt.  I think it would be more sanitary!

So the apartment is clean and appears to be smell-free, but this morning I could notice the slight stench in the hallways.  So thank you, member(s) of the apartment building, whether male or female, who did this.  Without you, we wouldn't have experienced a fountain of waste Monday morning.  For you, I have this:

The only thing worst than a bunny's butt is his disapproving face, so don't make me use that look ever...it's scary!  Anywho, that's the story, and I can't say it's the way I wanted the week to start, but the week can only get better from here, right?  I hope...Later!

"After all, a lot of people are going to think we are a shocking pair"

No, this post isn't about the SO and me.  It's actually about the movie we watched this weekend, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner.  And even though it's the umpteenth time I've watched it, the movie still remains poignant to me, as the SO and I are definitely the odd couple.  But about the movie...

It's obvious from the introduction of the interracial couple, played by Sidney Poitier (as Dr. John Prentice) and Katharine Houghton (as Joanna "Joey" Drayton), that this movie would be about that exact issue.  Even though the recent remake of the movie flopped because many think it's a dead issue, there still remains an air of ignorance on the part of the world about a mixed couple.  Set in San Francisco in 1967, one of the liberal focal points in America during the '60s and still today, the movie opens up with the couple getting into a taxi, with the driver giving a look of uneasiness, as the couple kisses.

What really stands out from this movie is how Joey's parents, Matt (Spencer Tracy) and Christina (Katharine Hepburn) Drayton, react to the couple and how quickly everything moves in that relationship.  As liberal as Matt may be, he still appears to be an "old stubborn mule" when it comes to his own daughter's love life.  For a person to fight for the people's rights, Matt has a hard time practicing what he preaches.  Chrstina, shocked at first, seems to come around a lot sooner than her husband.  The Draytons' personal cook Tillie (Isabel Sanford), a black woman, has a hard time with the couple, maybe because the relationship is too new, maybe because of the issues the couple will face in the world, or possibly because she thinks John is trying to be better than other blacks.  So, not only does the movie touch on black-and-white racism, but also black-on-black racism.

As much as Joey is the ultimate vision of the flower child of the '60s, interracial unions were still illegal in 17 states in 1967, until the Supreme Court ruled on Loving v. Virginia.  Joey seems very elated about her love for John, but appears so naive about what lies ahead for them.  Poitier's portrayal of Dr. Prentice makes him seem very emotional, even taking it out verbally on his father.  The key character, to me, is Monsignor Ryan (Cecil Kellaway), a dear friend of the Draytons and a member of the Church (which can be viewed as very conservative to many) who is probably the most understanding character in the entire movie.  He makes Matt look like Rush Limbaugh (and that's saying something if you understand Matt's character).

Ultimately, John weighs his decision to marry Joey (which is scheduled to happen a week later in Geneva) on how Matt feels on the issue.  Being the sensitive guy that he is, John wants the approval of his future bride-to-be's father, especially under the circumstances of the time.  In the end, Matt (Spencer Tracy's last scene on screen before his passing 17 days after filming) says it's not up to him or Christina or John's parents (who show up for dinner after flying from Los Angeles that afternoon) or anyone else in the world.  It's up to John and Joey and how much they love each other that should affect if they get married.  In one long afternoon/evening, we learn that for as much approval that John wanted, in the end all that mattered was that he loved Joey and she loved him.  And if they loved each other as half as much as Matt and Christina, then they would have a long time together, in love.

In the end of this post (a very short one, but I have a reason for that...described in the next post!), it comes down to this.  This movie was one of the first "classic" movies that my SO and I sat down to watch together.  The SO doesn't really care for movies (mostly because her attention span rivals any Ritalin-laden teenager) and especially gets bored of "classic" (i.e. movies from decades ago) films, so I was really surprised she took a liking to this movie.  For that, I would say it's a keeper.  What do you think?  Do you agree that it's a keeper? Or should it be ceremoniously left out of the DVD collection?  Let me know in the comments.  In a short while, I'll get to writing the post about today's adventure in the apartment, but until then...Later!

Funny story...

This is a very short post, just because my last one was so long...

I was looking through my amazing Excel sheet that catalogues my entire DVD collection, and I was in the Comedy/Musical tab and noticed Mighty Wind, A.  I thought it had been misplaced and should have been in Drama.  My brain fart was because I also own Inherit the Wind.  Two totally different movies, but I actually think my list is so big I might occasionally forget what I actually own.  I know, that's awesome...

"So I may have gone a teeny tiny bit overboard this time..."

So this week's future purchases post has its roots from the trip to New Hampshire (NH) with the SO during the holidays.  I think I should first go into the future purchase and why it should be deemed worthy.  Then I'll get into the juicy details of what went down as the "DVD Overload Fest Winter '08" (yes, it was so crazy that it deserves its own title for what was pulled off in just a week's time).

What purchase could be so good to deserve future considerations, yet not good enough to fit into my collection until now?  Well, it stems from probably the coolest class I have taken EVER.  A little course that only went for a month but easily could have gone for an entire semester and it would still not be enough (although in hindsight, it will probably be helpful on not depleting the bank account).  "Staking Out the Sopranos" was a course in undergrad that took a look at The Sopranos and how it compared/contrasted with the image of gangsters we see on the silver screen.  Throughout the course, we watched the first two seasons of the hugely successful show and mixed in a few select gangster movies that are deemed classics and yet portray the gangster as it was relevant to that era.  Of course, we had to start with the REAL classics.  Those would be Little Caesar, Public Enemy, and White Heat.  These were followed by The Godfather, The Godfather II, Goodfellas, and Donnie Brasco.  The course really energized my interest in the genre, and since that time, I've been slowly collecting the movies on DVD (let's not get started with The Sopranos, although they did put out the entire series in one package...).

How this ties into my story is while over holiday break in NH, I was in Borders and saw White Heat.  I've already checked Borders' website and the DVD is not found near me.  Anywho, I saw White Heat and it was on sale for $14.99, PLUS the store was taking 30% off all DVDs and CDs that day, so it would have cost $10.49.  You're probably saying to yourself, why would that matter?  Well, if you know anything about NH, you know it has no sales tax.  That's right, NO SALES TAX!

Therein lies the whole logic for DVD Overload Fest Winter '08.  What got the snowball rolling was the deal the SO and I made to buy each other Christmas gifts while in NH because of no sales tax.  Well, I couldn't exactly do that, as we weren't going to be in NH until after Christmas, so I ended up buying some gifts for her (and having to tell little white lies to avoid her knowing the order from Amazon was for her - she loves the story... basically, I told her I ordered Mamma Mia on DVD for her Mom, even though I already knew SO's bro bought it already, so I said I would give it to my Dad cause he liked the movie, but it actually was a copy of Wall-E for the SO... and yes, I got more than just that for the SO...and she loved all the gifts... I think...).  

What I had planned to ask for while in NH was to get a few DVDs (of course) and so we ended up going to Best Buy the first full day we were in NH.  Ended up getting Burn After Reading, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, and Seven.  The DVD tally was at 4.  Pretty respectable, and some decent choices.  So Clone Wars was panned even by Harry Knowles, but I felt not paying sales tax was a pretty good compromise (and technically I didn't buy it, the SO did, so my Star Wars cred is still intact... come on, I even have "The Holiday Special" on DVD, of course I have to get Clone Wars - almost anything is better than "The Holiday Special", but I'll save its review for a future post).

So where did this go from a very respectable Christmas gift to Overload?  Probably stems from my advisor.  You see, for the past 3 Christmases, he's been giving those of us in the lab $75 gift cards to Borders.  Usually I'll save them until I would think of something to order on the website.  I would take it one step further and go through Borders' Amazon page, just so I could get Amazon's prices (which almost always are better than Borders).  At some point in 2008, Borders ended its deal with Amazon and had its own separate website (which at first was not only confusing but slower than Family Guy's tangential scenes - you know what I'm talking about)

Family Guy - Peter VS The Chicken - Round 3 - Full Fight @ Yahoo! Video

So I was less than thrilled about that prospect.  But then I got to thinking (before I received the gift card this holiday season) that if the SO and I went to NH, I could use the card in NH and avoid sales tax!  It was brilliant.  $75 spent on DVDs and none of it going to sales tax (okay, I'll stop drooling, but you gotta say that's pretty freakin' sweet!)

And that's how it went to Overload.  In the middle of our week in NH, the SO needed to get her driver's license renewed, so we had to head to Concord for that.  Luckily, there's a Borders there.  At some point, the SO and her 'rents wanted to go somewhere else but I was still in the middle of making important decisions on how to use the gift card.  The SO's rents didn't think I could spend an entire hour deliberating, but I proved them wrong because when they came back to get me, I had just made up my mind (but barely).  After looking at the Gangsters Collection Warner Bros. put together, I was torn.  There were 6 movies, but I only wanted Little Caesar, White Heat, and Public Enemy.  But I didn't want to use my entire gift card up on one collection.  I saw the deal with White Heat by itself but I thought I'd wait to buy all 3 gangster movies I really wanted some other time (tear).  In all, I bought 3 DVDs (Batman: Gotham Knight, Snatch, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, and His Girl Friday) and 4 CDs (soundtracks to Return of the Jedi, The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith... I know, AWESOME!).  So the DVD tally hit 8...

So coming to the last day of our trip, the SO and her Mom wanted to get some clothes from the mall, so I tagged along and hung out in Best Buy.  Bad decision... While I was waiting on her, I thought to myself, "Self, you just bought His Girl Friday.  You know how much you love Cary Grant, why not get another of his movies to start a collection?"  And I said, "Okay."  Long story short, I left Best Buy with 3 DVDs: North by Northwest, King Kong, and Field of Dreams.  All solid picks, I might say, and fine additions to the collection.  DVD tally at 11...

But the trip to the mall didn't end my DVD spending.  Blame the SO's bro and his girlfriend (SO Bro GF).  They weren't sure what to get me for Christmas, so the SO told them I love DVDs, so they got me and the SO gift cards to...Barnes and Noble!  So of course my logic is, "There's no sales tax in NH, so I must buy DVDs here!"  And so I decided to really have my Cary Grant collection together, so I bought 3 more DVDs: Arsenic and Old Lace, Bringing Up Baby, and Little Caesar.  So, the last one isn't Cary Grant, but it did help my gangster genre collection, and therein lies my new obsession to complete my gangster DVD collection.  If that's the case, I need to get White Heat... and a few others.  But that's for future "future purchases" posts.

And that's how I'm able to tie this entire diatribe together.  Sorry for the length in this post, but it was a tale that had to be told.  In all, the DVD tally from a week in NH stopped at 14 (probably because we had to leave... the SO had to get back to work, and my wallet was burning from the money flying out!).  

Because of this ginormous (giant and enormous - put together!) purchase and the size of my collection, I wanted to let you, the reader, decide something very imporant.  At the rate I'm going, 1 DVD per week would take 370 weeks, or over 7 years to complete.  Should I keep at this rate, should I watch 1 DVD a day, somewhere in between?  Let me know in the comments, and I'll let you know what is decided.  Either way, it'll drive the SO crazy we have to watch all of my DVDs (Hehe!)  Later!

HEY YOU GU-UYS!!!

If I didn't know any better, I'd think that the SO actually liked my selection this week.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she can recite the entire movie, or that she knows this movie better than I do.  Released in 1985, this movie obviously molded the SO into what she is today, and I'm actually surprised she's willing to admit that she loves a movie so much.  Starring just about everybody, it's The Goonies!

I have to admit, this is a great movie from the childhood, but if I were to write about this movie as if I were a reviewer from 1985, I'm not sure I would be so kind.  But then if I were from 1985, I'd take the DeLorean and stop Steven Spielberg from letting George Lucas put out that crap we call the fourth Indiana Jones movie.  That's right, after seeing The Goonies, I may think that Steven was struggling with the writing, but I'd rather he have written the fourth Indy instead of that thing we called a movie this past summer.  And I digress...

If I were to review the movie, I would say the start of the movie is a little confusing.  We're thrown into this world really without understanding what is taking place.  Yeah, we get it that these kids are in trouble because they have to leave due to possible foreclosures, but it's unclear exactly why.  We slowly learn, but it really isn't until you watch the outtakes from the DVD that you understand some of the gaps in the goonie logic (the outtakes really do help, and I would suggest listening to the commentary - the cast is all grown up!  It's really cool).  If you don't pay attention, you probably would miss the whole reason why they're called the Goonies (from the goon-docks region of Astoria, Oregon).  There seem to be so many holes at the beginning, with all of these characters, like Mikey, Data, Mouth, and Chunk (the movie would only be half as awesome without Chunk...who am I kidding, it would blow without Chunk).

And speaking of Chunk, I'm pretty sure my baby embodies everything that is Chunk.  No, she has an amazing body and is the most beautiful woman in the world, but it's the little things that I noticed in the movie that make me realize she has clearly been affected, permanently, by Chunk.  Whenever she gets happy or is satiated from a meal, she does a variation of the Truffle Shuffle.  I won't embarrass her anymore, but next time you see her, just think about the similarities.  It's scary - oh, and don't even get her started on quoting from that movie...

Back to the movie, I can really see how this can be meant to be the Indiana Jones for young adults.  And just like those movies, you're thrown into the middle of the story in this movie.  If you get past this issue, the movie itself plays very well.  Yeah, it may not be reality, but movies like this are meant to be fun for us.  And if you're reading this, Steven, please do not remake this movie.  I know it's the cool thing to do right now, but if you ruin another piece of my childhood, I'm pretty sure I will go all Sloth on your ass.

It's still pretty amazing the cast that is in this movie: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman... so it is pretty amazing to see how young these actors were and where they've gone since.  In order to really appreciate this movie, you have to reach into your inner child and just love the adventure these kids get themselves into.  If you were a kid, you'd think it was so cool to be going after buried treasure underneath your town to save your home.  So even though it may follow a similar trend of kid movies of the 1980s, it sets itself apart because of the characters we encounter along the way and how much we relate to them.  It may be their time up there, but it's our time down here...something we can all relate to, even if we're no longer that young.  We just have to stay focused, because we all have gotten further than Chester Copperpot, so we have to keep going.

Overall, I would give this movie 3 Baby Ruths out of 5, and for nostalgia, it's definitely 5 Pinchers of Power out of 5.  And since nostalgia always wins out, the movie has to stay.  I think the  SO would die if we lost this one.

(Side Note:  If this all works out, there will be a devil's advocate to my reviews, mostly because I guess there needs to be another voice in this debate about what movies should stay or go.  I think it's a clever ruse by the SO, but seeing as it's one of my boys from college, I guess I'll allow it.  If all works out, you can follow the other half of this debate very soon.)

Alright, next time I'll try a movie from one of the other categories, assuming the SO doesn't get tired of the whole Siskel and Ebert thing (mixed in with a little Bourdain).  Later!

"Well, you could say Dennis..."

It's that time of year again, to assess what I've done with my life...because it's my birthday.  And at this ripe old age, I feel like, like...

Okay, so I'm not 37, but I'm not old.  Many people have gone on to do great things by age 27:

-Brian Jones (of the Rolling Stones, for those of you who have only paid attention to music in the past 40 years)

-Jimi Hendrix

-Janis Joplin

-Jim Morrison

-Kurt Cobain

Oh, wait, they died at the age of 27?  Well, then, I'm screwed.  What have I accomplished in 27 years on this planet (besides this blog)?

Well there's...

And...

So I haven't done some of the things those people have, but I will achieve one goal they couldn't: make it to 28.  That's a manageable goal...I think.  I've got almost half a day down, so only 364.5 days to go.  And I have something to look foward to:

That's what I'm talking about, the wonderful meal of Brinner!  Holla!  Is there anything better than breakfast at dinnertime?  I don't think so.  And guess who has two thumbs and is getting Brinner tonight?  Bob Kelso...no, I mean, me, that's who.  Get a little omelet with some smoked cheese and some bacon, top it off with an orange smoothie, now that's what I'm talking about!

I figure I need Brinner because the SO is going to make me watch American Idol (AI) with her.  What idiot puts AI on my birthday?  It's sacreligious.  At the very least, it keeps me from watching what I want to watch on MY birthday.  Heaven forbid if we don't watch AI the night it's on, even though we DVR it!  Explain that to me.  We DVR AI, but we have to watch it that night.  Just because we can flip through the commercials and Paula's crying, that's no excuse!  I think it's so the SO doesn't feel out of the loop with her pop culture (oh wait, that's me, nevermind).

So anywho, if you're trying to get a hold of me tonight, don't be surprised if you get the Brinner Me or the AI Me.  I think you know which one you want.  Later!

Really?!?

Can you guess, out of my entire collection of DVDs, which one costs the most, in terms of dollars?

I'll give you a minute...

If you guess Pineapple Express, give you yourself a pat on the back.  Can you guess how much it costs?

I'll give you another minute...

That's right, 500 dollars.  If you were right, punch the guy who hit my SO's car in the f*****g parking lot!!!

Take a look at the DVD...

Nothing special edition about it, no hair samples of Seth Rogen that I can use to clone myself an army of Seth Rogens (you know it would be freakin' awesome, don't lie to yourself).  But yes, that simple little single-disc unrated version of Pineapple Express is going to cost me and my SO 500 dollars out of our own pocket.  "Here's how to order..."

It began like a normal January morning in Indiana: freezing rain.  We needed to hit the grocery stores because we had to make meatloaf to get our Betta fish, Sheldon, back from SO's co-worker's spouse (we won't go into details on that, but Sheldon is safe, and yes, he's so aptly named because of Big Bang Theory).  We first hit up the local pet store to get hay for Kyle, our spoiled Orange Netherland Dwarf rabbit (his picture can be seen on one of my other blogs, Tenacious Spoo...).  We then went to a "local" bakery so I could buy the SO some really good apple bread.

You can see where this is going.  I sweetened the pot so the SO wouldn't come down on me hard for being so close to Best Buy so I could go buy Pineapple Express.  I know, it's brilliant.  Give the girl some bread, and she won't hate you... as much.  Luckily there's a Barnes & Noble next door, so I didn't have to see her face when I bought it.  After we bought a knitting mag for her, we headed over to a local grocer because everything is fresh there.  The meat is freshly cut, the cheese is smoked, the fresh veggies are always excellent in the winter.

Well, when we first pulled in, I could tell the parking was a little slick.  How do I know?  Because as I'm turning into the lot, the car starts to slide a little, so I ease up as I turn.  Little did I know it was really slick as the car slowly fades toward an SUV at the end of the lot (who parks at the end of a lot when it's slick out?  Probably someone who wants a new vehicle).  As my lifeless body went numb, the car edged ever so slowly until it just stopped inches from the SUV.  The SO and I looked at each other, wondering what to do next.  She said try going forward, but as I did I could tell we'd still go towards the car as I let off the brake.  Instead, I reversed it, and we avoided all possible monetary issues with the owner of that SUV.  So to avoid anything like that, we parked in the middle of the lot, close to vehicles, but with no one right next to us.  And that's when Final Destination took over...

So we went into the grocer, bought some freshly smoked salmon (yeah!), some freshly smoked cheese (Yeah!) and some freshly cut bacon (YEAH!).  We also got some veggies (eh) and went to the check-out.  The girl (who's always friendly) said that it was definitely slick out there, someone had hit a telephone pole next to the plaza that morning, so we weren't the only ones who slid there.  We left with our groceries in our canvas (yes...canvas) bags to see this:

WTF!

Oh, I swore, and I hope the little f****r can still hear me.  We just had ourselves a little Final Destination action because obviously we were meant to have the SO's car get hit today.  Not only that, it was a hit-and-run.

That's right, a F*****G HIT-AND-RUN!

I won't even go there...Breathe...Breathe...and we're back...

Luckily, the officer who was there for the telephone pole was still there, and we ran over to him (yes, when you're mad, even ice knows when to get out of the way) so he could help us out.  He took down the information and could visibly see the other car's tracks as it smashed into our car and then as it took off.  We stayed there for 30 minutes as he filled out paperwork (Mr. Officer H, thank you so much for everything, in all true sincerity).

After all of this, we still had to go to SuperTarget (ST) to get some other groceries.  I felt so violated, like someone had violated my body, then left me there to rot.  As we were in ST, I couldn't look at anyone, like they were mocking me or that they were the ones who did this.  As we drove home, I could feel like people were staring at us, as if we were the ones at fault for all of this.

I never thought I'd say this, but if this person who hit us is from Indiana, then I'm ashamed to be called a Hoosier in the same breath as him/her.  If that's what we truly are, then we need to make each and every one of us accountable for our actions, and it starts with each of us learning to take responsibility.  If I had hit that SUV, I would have gone to each of those stores in the plaza to find the person and let them know, even if there had been no visible damage.  It's just disrespectful and I hope my faith in humanity comes back someday, because it's hard to trust another person now to do the right thing.

Sorry for the downer, but we can be thankful that neither of us were in that vehicle, we're both safe, and it could have been a lot worse.  Now if anyone has a spare 500 dollars to give us, that would be nice.  Or I could sell you a brand-spanking-new copy of Pineapple Express...

Let's create some chaos, shall we?

"So there I was..."

"Funny story..."

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you..."

Any of those would do for this past weekend "Infinite Things That Could Go Wrong and Will Go Wrong Game Show."  But I digress...

So let's start with the happy bits, since that's where the story begins Friday evening.  I had chosen three possible movies to start this blog off right.  There were three obvious choices.  The first had to be Star Wars (none of this Episode IV: A New Hope stuff, it's Star Wars, plain and simple.  If you have a problem with that, go take it up with the other millions of fans who totally agree with me, am I right?).  The movie has everything: action, drama, suspense, and a little sister-on-brother action.  How can that fail as my first choice?  

Well, the second obvious choice would be the very first DVD I ever bought.  That, of course, would have to be The Matrix (before it got downright stupid with the whole "Neo as the Messiah" complex).  Because it was the first DVD purchased, shouldn't it have the right to be the foundation for what this blog stands for (what does this blog stand for?  Oh...right, the whole "don't want my SO to sell any - and I mean ANY - of my DVDs" thing).

The third choice would have to be the dark horse of the bunch.  A movie that simply catapulted to the top of my fave movie list of all-time.  Something with a little kick to humanity, The Dark Knight.  Now, I know, it could be the recency effect, it could be because I bought the DVD  a month ago and have been DYING to watch it again (although it's just not the same without my own personal IMAX screen).

After much deliberation, I finally chose a movie that stood for truth, justice, and...

I chose The Dark Knight.  Was there another choice?

Amazingly enough, the SO watched it (even with her fear of clowns).  And when I mean watch it, I mean she watched the parts without the Joker or his clown-faced henchmen.  Yeah, I know.  After the movie, she said it was okay but felt it wasn't what everyone had talked about.  Really?  Really?!?

Without Joker, it's like watching only the black-and-white parts of The Wizard of Oz.  Of course you're going to say that.  The movie should have been called The Joker steals the movie from Batman again because Batman has no personality and needs to take the Joker's medicine once in a while, just to loosen up a bit.  Who has the nerve to say this movie isn't great, especially when you miss the best parts of the movie?  The whole thing had to do with Joker making us feel very uncomfortable (especially with the soundtrack to match the intensity) in every single one of his scenes, because we have no idea if he's going to go bat-shit crazy on the screen, no pun intended (okay, a little intended).

In my review, I simply loved how the entire movie is laid out in front of us, before we actually get to some of the scenes.  So many clues that foretell what will happen, if you pay attention and know how movies go.  The best scenes are with the Joker, and I have to say the music played with the Joker just made it that much more creepy, that much more scary, and I loved it.  I've now seen the movie 3 times, and yet I still feel like the Joker could do something different.  He's that unpredictable.  Thank you, Heath Ledger.  We finally got to see what could truly be done with a character who doesn't care one iota about humanity and just wants to see it cave in on itself (If interested in understanding where Ledger got his inspiration, read The Killing Joke).

I give it two Agents of Chaos (out of five, that's how crazy the movie is).  For my action/adventure/sci-fi/fantasy/thriller movies.  I'll give out Agents of Chaos, based on a five-point scale (yeah, I make up the rules as I go along - it's the Joker in me).

In my next post right after this, I'll dive into why it was the weekend from Hell...

"Just one more DVD, please?"

Well, it's that time of the week, when I realize that my DVD collection is incomplete.  And I know what it will take to make my collection less incomplete (it'll never be complete, who am I kidding).

That's right, the hilarious comedy involving everyone's favorite green, leafy plant, starring two of my favorite actors, it's Pineapple Express!  For some reason, I love the cast of Freaks and Geeks (if you couldn't tell from my picture) and Seth Rogen is one guy I have always related to (because he's so cool and doesn't have a body like Tom Brady - although my SO loves both guys).  And with James Franco, another F&G alum, the movie is a must purchase for me.

So how do I con, I mean, reason with my SO that this is a movie that I can't live without?  Can I try the ol' "It's my birthday, and I really want it" routine?  Probably not, as I told her I wanted "The Force Unleashed" for the Wii (not so much for the game, but for the two-player battle mode.  That's right, the power of the lightsaber is mine!  Bwa-ha-ha!!!)  Could I go with "It's only $14.99 at Best Buy, and that's a really good price for a new release DVD" angle?  Possibly, although she'll probably throw it back in my face that I got 14 DVDs while we were at her home in NH (that'll be a story for another post).

No, I'll have to come up with a new one that gives me the ability to buy it even with her evil stare.  You know the one I'm talking about.  I'll keep you posted as to how this all turns out...

"But you see, it's really hard to find that one..."

(In my best Don LaFontaine voice) "Imagine a world, a world without laughter, without tears, without passion.  Well, this blog has it all...

"In a world gone mad, one man stood his ground and found his own holy grail."

(Cue opening score from 2001: A Space Odyssey)

Bah...Baahh...Baaahhh...

BA-BUH!!!

But wait, there's more...

 

As an added bonus, I'll tell you never to buy the above bookshelf (from a certain place that rhymes with "chest high").  It's pitiful, you put just a few DVDs in there, and it starts to bow out, so then the shelves fall, and your DVDs will go everywhere.  I'm just saving you the time and hassle it took me to watch my precious DVDs fall to the ground (out of their original order!!) and have to arrange it so they sit at the bottom of the bookshelf, hidden from the world (i.e. behind the sofa).  It's not right, DVDs have a right to be shown proudly.  But I digress...

Yes, those are pictures of my entire collection, minus three new ones we received yesterday in the mail.  There's a little thing called Disney Movie Club (run by the devil, I believe).  And I only mention it because everytime you order a DVD, they send you flyers with all these wonderful movies and shows you watched as a kid and wish to have those same warm, fuzzy feelings you had back then (because now the only feelings you get are stress from work and pain from signing those checks to pay the bills).  So you keep buying more, especially those damn Walt Disney Treasures, which contain all the cartoons for a certain character (Donald Duck, Goofy, Pluto, etc.) or from a certain era (Silly Symphonies, Disney Rarities, etc.), and sometimes they even have it where they separate out black-and-white cartoons from color cartoons (re: Mickey Mouse).

Well, the SO and I have been collecting these "treasures" because we love these cartoons from our childhoods, and if we ever spawn future offspring, we want them to enjoy quality viewing (when they are allowed to watch television, which will be hardly ever, if we want them to take piano lessons, dance lessons, play sports, do well in school, and solve all the world's problems before the SO and I leave this mortal coil).

In the mail this week, we received:

Mickey Mouse in Living Color, Volume 2

More Silly Symphonies, and

Rarities and Celebrates Shorts

So now, the current tally of DVDs rises to 373...

Therefore, when it involves DVDs of something she likes, it's okay to buy them.  When I go to buy a DVD (or two or three) she gets mad.  What gives?  So long story short, it's my birthday soon, and I'm going to try and get her to allow me to buy a DVD (I promise to only buy one...hopefully)  for my birthday.  So we'll see.  I'll post what that future purchase will be soon.  Until then, let's hope I can fit the new DVDs somewhere into my collection, before it all falls on top of me...

"Don't give me that look!"

That's what I say each and every time to my girlfriend (SO) as I go into a store and buy a DVD.

Okay, so I never buy just one DVD, but who can blame me?  Have you seen what's out there for our viewing pleasure?  Action, comedy, drama, sports, television (and yes, a few choice documentaries) - there's a whole world out there that I haven't experienced because I don't own the greatest classic and contemporary movies and television shows that have kept us in tears or stitches for generations.

Movies allow us to step out of reality and enjoy a whole new world, one that is thought-provoking, funny, sad, and hopefully helps us realize how lucky we are.  Now all movies are not created equal (Beverly Hills Chihuahua?  Really?!?) and that's why those movies lucky enough to be in my collection should be honored to be there.  Because there are so many DVDs that should be standard in my collection, I currently am in possession of 370 features.  I say features because it's not just movies but also television shows and sporting events.  Even as I write, I can feel the stare from the SO just burning down on me because I have so many.

And that's why I have started this blog.  In this day and age of materialism and recession, I need to hold back my urge to buy DVDs (especially because Blu-ray DVDs will be the next logical step for my purchases...once I own a Blu-ray DVD player...minor detail).  Because I want to quell that urge (because I'm running out of room to house the DVDs) and to show to my SO that I watch them and really need them, I will be using this blog in two ways.  One, I will be using this blog to select a DVD a week to watch, review, and give a little anecdotal story to its relevance in my life.  And two, I will preview a DVD  a week that I really want to own but probably should hold off until I have enough funds to purchase it.

In a nutshell (Help! I'm in a nutshell...yes, movie dialogue will randomly appear in my posts...sorry in advance for my movie geekiness), this is my way of handling my so-called addiction to DVDs (or at least that's what the SO calls it).  I want to preserve, in a way, my love for my DVDs and why I need them.  So, anywho, in the next post, I'll provide pictures of my collection, and then start with my reviews and previews.  Let the blog...begin!!!