Monday, April 6, 2009

"That meat lover's pizza is NOT loving me back!"

It seems like it's been forever since I've been on a regular schedule of reviewing DVDs, so it was nice to get back to some normalcy for this weekend.  And because I felt bad that the SO didn't pick a DVD last week, I thought she could have the first crack for this weekend (So does this count as last month's SO pick or this month's SO pick?  Hmm...).

And of course, she never disappoints with her pick, meaning it's going to be a Disney selection, and what better selection to make than the most recent DVD purchase involving a film from that lovable mouse... about a dog.  But not just any dog, I'm talking about Bolt.

Yes, yes, I know.  It's pretty obvious that Disney went the old-fashioned route of selecting a topic for a movie: they copied someone else's idea, then Disneyfied it.  You know what I'm talking about.  They even stole from a company they routinely work with (Pixar) by using the same premise as with Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story.  Then they had to increase the cuteness factor of the main character the only way they know how: increase the size of the eyes and you have millions of girls lining up to want to see the film.  I know, the SO is one of them.  She didn't see it in theaters, but she didn't hide her feelings for buying the DVD once it came out.

So here's the quick synopsis: Girl buys Bolt (voiced by John Travolta) from a shelter when he's a puppy, they are part of a television show, and just like The Truman Show, Bolt doesn't know he's a character in the production.  He thinks it's all real, including his super powers (including Super Bark... ooh, sc-ary).  To boost ratings, the show has Penny (voiced by Miley Cyrus... thank God she played a minimal part, her voice alone can be quite annoying!) kidnapped, but Bolt really thinks she needs to be rescued.  He's able to escape into the real world, and along the way, he learns from his new acquaintances that he's living a fantasy world.  As much as this hurts, Bolt still searches for his human.  And in typical fashion, there's a climax and a resolution to the problem.

This movie felt like Homeward Bound: the CGI version.  Bolt has to go across America to find his human, with the help of a cat and in this case a hamster.  And it seemed like every other movie that Disney does these days and in the past.  Usually there's a new take on the theme, but there didn't seem to be that new take.  I will say that if you had never seen a Disney movie, and you were under the age of 10, you probably love this movie.  But I can't say the same, as I've seen a lot of Disney movies, and the last time I checked, I couldn't pass for a 10-year old if I tried.

I think the only reason the SO loved it was because of how cute Bolt was.  How could I tell this?  She gets this look in her eyes that says, "I want a puppy."  We can't afford a bunny, let alone a canine, so as much as she may look at me with those puppy-dog eyes of hers, we can't get one.  And why did I agree to get this DVD?  If you are in a relationship (straight or gay) you know there are certain things you have to do to keep your SO happy, and if this is one little thing that does that, I'll suffer... for now.

That's okay, I get her back with this blog, including her incredible spelling skills...

Yeah, I didn't know Indiana's capital was named for Native Americans AND the eastern European nation of Poland.  That's good to know.

Ultimately, this is how I break it down.  Typical Disney trite, but it keeps the SO happy.  So I lose on all fronts.  Except in this post...hehehe!  Later!

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