Four Movies, Four Reviews, Four Brain Cells Left...

Okay, so I think I may have more than four brain cells left in me, but whatever is left definitely has to work overtime after all the stupidity that destroyed what could be considered, at one point, my intelligence. And I think that's why they invented HBO, to destroy my intelligence with movies that I've always wanted to see, but now I'm thinking they should have remained unseen. What movie(s) could incur such wrath from me? Well,...

The Wizard. A joyful 1989 romp through a clearly concise, yet way too long commercial for Nintendo and its soon-to-be-released Super Mario Bros. 3 video game. I can't believe I sat through it. The only thing that helped was that it was in HD. That piece of drivel should have been left in California. I don't have to trash this movie, as the AVGN and the Nostalgia Critic have both torn this movie to shreds. What I want to point out are two things that were way wrong with this movie:

1: Tobey Maguire's mullet: When the "badboy" Lucas is shown outside the video game tournament in California, his rough and tough gang of misfit boys included a young Maguire who should be thankful that this wasn't his last film, although someone should have squashed the debacle that was Spiderman 3...

2. Did no one notice that in the finals, the lady over the loud speaker says two minutes are left, yet the clock on the screen says one minute?!?! We can't do any final edits so that the film is at least making one bit of sense?

National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1. This is a really bad movie, yet I can't seem to help myself in thinking that it had some really funny parts. Not really sure why there was a need to do a spoof on the Lethal Weapon movies, but in 1993, I guess anything was possible. Emilio Estevez was in his heyday as a passable actor, Samuel L. Jackson was decent, but there's no real outstanding performance from anyone in this film. I think it was more about the inside jokes about the absurdity of the Lethal Weapon movies and any movies within that genre (Die Hard, as one example). The reason why this film has any girth is that it made the SO laugh... at one line. But still it was a great line. Can't find the scene on YouTube, but the line was, "Maybe it was the bullets that killed her." That got a rise out of the SO. Still, a bad movie with great jokes that really could have delivered in a better way.

Now not all movies on HBO were bad. I finally was able to get the chance to see Tropic Thunder. I thought it was a pretty good movie, mostly because I was not ready for the director's last scene that just blew me away...

Still, I thought it had strong performances from Robert Downey, Jr., Jay Baruchel, and amazingly enough (I can't believe I'm saying this), Tom Cruise. Even though I think he went cuckoo a long time ago, Cruise still has it in him to put up a great performance, a COMEDIC performance. Jack Black was probably the weakest character out of the bunch, mostly because his drug-addicted character was more annoying than comical. Very refreshing to watch, as I wanted to know what situation these actors could get themselves into, once they landed in a real war-torn land. If only I could get my hands on the extended version...

Finally, this wasn't a film that was on HBO, although it should be lucky if it ever makes a cable network release. The timeless classic (from 2009)... Inkheart. I think it's an appropriate title as I wanted to shove a pen into my chest cavity to get me out of watching this atrocity on the HDTV. The SO rented it on DVD at a local rental store, without warning (i.e. I was so ready to watch another movie, so the movie already had two strikes against it - 1, it was something the SO wanted to see, and 2, it was keeping me from watching a film I wanted to see. Bad omen...)

Because this movie came out in January, I already knew this had to be a bomb of a movie. That was pretty evident after about the first two minutes when the SO became rather grumpy (as the movie did not depict the book series she adored so much). Although I wanted to get pleasure out of this fact, it was depressing because of the way she would describe this book and yet the garbage on the screen clearly killed any chance for a sequel (and as there are three books in the series, I'm guessing we have a good chance of the other two books becoming films as we have the chance to have a strong health care system...Ba-zinga). From the plot of the story, it was clear the movie studio tried to cram in as much as they could from the first two books into one movie. That's never a good sign. Without the story as it was written in the book, the film folded faster than Los Angeles' chances of getting a pro football team. And as much as I love him in such classics as Encino Man and two episodes from Scrubs, Brendan Fraser is like the Ted McGinley of film: he's the sign that the shark has been jumped. All I can say is it's a good thing it only cost $2.50 to rent, because if I had to pay for that movie, I would have had to ask for my money back.

On a happier note...

My next post is about more DVD purchases!

Yeah, I know, I'm a DVD/BR whore...

Later!

One post, 16 reviews. Am I insane?!?

Hey-yo! Back with another post, getting to my roots about reviewing my DVDs (and now BRDs!!!). I've also watched a couple movies from HBO (now that the SO and I have the channel) and also rented a few movies from the library (which is amazing because of all the classics they have). So let's see if I can get through all of these without damaging my reputation, my computer, or my hands...

Almost Famous - Bill Simmons from ESPN said this is the movie of this decade. We'll have to wait until this decade is actually over to decide this fact, but it was an enjoyable movie about a young guy wanting to be a music journalist and his journey with an up-and-coming band. Rented from the library, loved the music, almost bought the BRD of the extended edition (just to know what happens in the extended parts).

Bananas - There's never a moment when Woody Allen let's the comedy stop, so it's hard to catch your breath from all the laughing. No words can describe the plot as it just comes from left field... or Howard Cossell's toupee. A good renter from the library, now if they only had Sleeper...

Coraline (BR) - Really cool story, and the 3D capabilities were nifty, if only because it's the only movie I have that can do this. Too bad we still have to wear the glasses that only a 10-year-old can wear...

Definitely, Maybe - Romantic comedy with Ryan Reynolds, a pretty good story that kept my attention, and the SO really loved Reynolds as a father. It even has a tearjerker moment near the end of the film. Thank you HBO, because I never had plans to rent or buy, and now I don't have to!

Diner - Pretty sure this could represent my fraternity boys and me. I would definitely have to be Daniel Stern's "Shrevie", and where did Mickey Rourke's face go? Did he leave it in Baltimore?

Enemy of the State (BR) - Even though I can't understand how Will Smith is a scientologist, this is a great movie and really started my whole belief system about the gov't and how it... ***(libel material "edited" by the U.S. Government)*** ... I mean, really scary.

Harry Potter and the...

*Sorcerer's Stone (BR) - Good start to the series, the actors look like babies, and it's so cheerful compared to the latest installments.

*Chamber of Secrets (BR) - Kinda forgettable, mostly because the series get much darker and better with Prisoner of Azkaban.

*Order of the Phoenix (BR) - Jumping around in the series, but this movie finally shows what Voldemort can do, and the sad ending reminds us that anyone related to Harry Potter is doomed!

*Half-Blood Prince (IMAX) - Wish the whole movie could be made in IMAX-3D (the last two movies should be), but the glasses were a little tight on the face, so luckily it was only 3D for 15 minutes...15 pointless minutes in 3D! Slughorn was not what the book described, and it was the first time I've seen an IMAX film stop in mid-showing (about 10 minutes left in the film... I know, it totally killed the mood). Can't imagine how big of a mark that'll leave on the digital print...

Harvey - By the end, I truly believed there really was a 6-foot, 3-and-a-half inch rabbit. Can't imagine anyone but Jimmy Stewart in that role... you hear that, Spielberg?!?

The Incredible Hulk - Another movie I never wanted to give money to, thankfully HBO had it on. Pretty fun movie, but nothing intellectually stimulating. Never saw the 2003 abomination (get it?) of a film, so I have to assume this was better.

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House - Never thought I'd see this one, but luckily the library had it. Always enjoy a Cary Grant film, and this one didn't disappoint, as it appears this movie was a prediction about how the SO and I would act if/when we'd build our home. And the DVD came with a Hanna Barbera cartoon!

Step Brothers - Rented from the library, watched the first 48 minutes, returned it. Not much to be said about a terrible movie with one joke repeated over and over and over and... you get the point. Left a bad taste in my mouth, almost as bad as dog poop...

Wayne's World - It's Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent! If I could only take one film with me to heaven, this would definitely be a finalist, a top-three in my all-time fave films. I'm not worthy!

So, you're probably thinking, "That was only 15." Well, the one movie I didn't review was The Dark Knight in BR. You already know what I think of this film from an earlier post, and I didn't feel it needed... it was amazing, awesome, rad, groovy, the greatest thing ever since sliced bread... with a cherry on top! The only problem was going back and forth between IMAX and non-IMAX shots. It became a little distracting by the end. But it was still cool!

And there you have it. 1 post, 16 reviews. And I still have my brain intact. If you'll excuse me, I have to qah[g0rq 8h3[gqh er[buenb[erbn[eiqbn[atib...

Whoa! What was that? Maybe my brain is...

THERE IS NO SPOODAWG, ONLY ZUUL!!!

Wait, where did that come from? I gotta get outta here! Later!

Once you get the itch, you better get some lotion for it...

After the Transformers debacle, I started thinking about what other DVDs I could get rid of.

You remember, I watched Transformers a couple weeks ago. Realized it's a piece of garbage. Want to sell both copies.

Well, I decided that there might be more DVDs to get rid of, especially as the SO and I move into our new apartment this week. And it seems there might be more than one DVD that could be leaving the collection.

Of course there's my two copies of Transformers:

Getting rid of these because I no longer can stand to watch that movie, let alone believe I used MY money to buy these.

There's also:

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Not a film I ever bought. Think it might be one that Suzy got from an ex. Too bad it's Full Screen! And if I'm going to own a Terminator movie, it'll be either the original or T2. Simple as that.

The Dark Knight: Target Special Edition

This is another one of those cases where I wanted another version but ended up with a different version. Well, I bought this special edition DVD first, but I really wanted the special edition from Circuit City... which I ended up getting a week or two after this initial purchase. And because I want this on BR, the SO will kill me if I have three copies of this film.

Duck Soup

There's nothing wrong with this film. I consider it the greatest comedy of all time, and everyone who's anyone that thinks about doing comedy either for fun or for a living will give this film all the respect it deserves. Everyone has copied the gags and one-liners from this film and put it in another production. So I love this film. It's just that I bought The Marx Brothers Silver Screen Collection, and that means that this film is a part of that set. So I have no need for two copies. See the trend?

Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land

The SO loves this feature, as it shows Donald learning the importance of math in everything that we do on a daily basis. It really is a cute film, but it also is a part of Walt Disney Treasures: The Chronological Donald Volume 4, 1951-1961. I sound like a broken record with this post, but it's not my fault. I already had the Treasures DVD and the SO wanted to get this DVD because it was an exclusive DVD for members of the Disney Movie Club.

A double feature: National Security and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton

These are the SO's, and again, I think they're from an ex. So I don't believe she'll miss these one bit. And I'll be glad to rid them from the collection. What's so great about them is they are stored together in the DVD case for Devil's Advocate.

Yeah, I cared so little for these movies that I put both of them in a case for which I don't actually own the movie.

And finally...

The original Star Wars trilogy

Now hear me out on this. I haven't truly decided if I'm going to do this or not. But here's what I'm thinking...

So I bought the original trilogy when it first came out as a set with a bonus material DVD.

Then they came out with the movies as individual DVDs that had both the original theatrical version and the special edition (i.e. Lucas' slaughtering of his own original vision for the films) in one case.

The original set I bought only had the special editions of the films. In theory, then, I would not have the need for the special edition only DVDs.

But there are two drawbacks to this. One, the artwork on the covers are different among the two sets of trilogies. And two, I never planned on opening the set with both versions of the film. It just seemed symbolic to keep those sealed until the moment in time when I would show these films to any future progeny of mine. I still have the original VHS copies, so whenever I wanted to avoid any special edition changes, I could pop those in.

Therefore, I'm still hesitant to sell those (as you can see in the first pic I left them separate from the "definitely selling" pile) but if I was desperate for money (or if the SO finally did snap and want to kill me) I would be willing to part with them and keep the other set plus the bonus material DVD. I am definitely, 100% not selling that away.

So there you have it. DVDs that I'm willing to sell or get rid of. A crazy new era has dawned, and I'm just trying to stay afloat. Later!

"He's leaked lubricants all over my foot!"

You know how you get so excited over a cartoon from your past that you think that a big, live-action version of it would be so cool? That's how I felt with Transformers. Never went to see it in theaters. Not really sure why. But when it came out on DVD, that's when I knew I had to own it... well, two copies of it actually. Yeah, I know.

So intead of talking about the plot of the movie (which there really isn't one... at least a plot worth the time to write it), I thought I'd go with two stories that will explain why I plan on selling both copies of the film. That's right. I've finally found a film that can be deemed unwatchable by me, especially one that I was crazy over. Let's begin with story number one...

We begin around the time the DVD was coming out for the film. Target was coming out with a special edition of the DVD, i.e. the case was going to be a Transformers, literally, that went from a DVD case to a DVD case that looks like Optimus Prime. Well, when it came out, I remember going that night of the DVD release to buy it, only I didn't see it at the Target I regularly visit. So I thought that the DVD that was there might be the right version. Little did I know that after opening it up, it wasn't the right one!

The SO wasn't happy about that, because that meant I couldn't return it. And I still wanted the transforming DVD case. So of course we had to go back and get it, and safe to say, it was back at the store a couple days later. But this also meant that I spent almost 50 dollars on one movie!

Story number two begins a week or so ago. I'm at my BF's new house because I had to drop off the SO at a bachelorette party and wait for her until it was over so I could drive her home. Well, the BF and I decided to watch something on his BR and I said I hadn't seen Transformers in a long time, and I wanted to see what it would look like in BR. Soon enough I realized why this movie (series) was awful. The acting, the action, the jokes. It just wasn't up to par with the cartoon. And Shia Labeuf, don't get me started on him. Either you're a comedian or you're an action hero. You can't be both.

The next day at the apartment, I realized that I no longer cared for the movie and the only thing I could do is sell my two copies of the DVD. Obviously both cases have been opened, but I only watched it once on the DVD in the normal case. I had only taken out the tranforming case to see what it looked like. So, really, there should be some value left in these DVDs. And with the second one out in theatres, there could be some draw.

Yes, I'm flaunting these DVDs to try and get some interest, and I haven't yet figured out where to sell them online, but once I do, I really hope there's someone who actually loves the film and wants at least one of these DVDs. Probably 10 bucks for the normal and 30 bucks for the transforming case. We'll see, and I'll let you know how that goes.

A sad day when a man has to sell his DVDs...

Later...

"I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up."

That's definitely the sentiment most of us felt with the latest reincarnation of Indiana Jones, and with the fifth one sounding more and more like a certainty, I had to go back and view the good Indy movies, starting with Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Yes, I know the series starts with Raiders of the Last Ark and it's better as a stand-alone film than Last Crusade, but when you have Sean Connery, Last Crusade is a must-watch movie. That, and I wanted to watch an entire film instead of snippets of Star Wars with the BR (Of course the first movie I put in was Star Wars, but I wanted to save that film for a Star Wars marathon on the BR!). And at least with the third film, Indy got back to doing what he's best at: kicking Nazi ass!

Starting out, it's Utah 1912 (sounds like a rip-roaring good time) and Indy is a young boy scout keeping an artifact out of the hands of criminals, but is unable to accomplish this. We move to 1938, where he is able to capture that artifact from the same criminals and completes his adventure safely. Back at the university, he's approached by some men who wish to take him to Walter Donovan, who tells him his father is missing, after attempting to locate the Holy Grail (without coconuts, it can be troublesome...). Traveling to Venice with Marcus Brody, Indy has to find his father, locate the whereabouts of the Grail (I knew he should have made that left turn at Alexandretta), and save all mankind from the Nazis producing immortal soldiers... and of course he does it. With a name like Indiana, he can't fail...

I love this film. Definitely not as good as the first film, but better than the second and fourth installments. It has one of my favorite lines I like to use whenever I'm somewhere I don't like: "We're pilgrims in an unholy land." And with Connery saying the line, it makes it priceless.

The quality of the picture was fantastic. No, it's not BR, but it still holds up really well. And really, with older films, the whole use of BR seems pointless, as if we're trying to strip away the history of that film. But since I have yet to view classic movies in BR (e.g. Dr. Strangelove, I will remain neutral on the topic until I have watched a classic in BR).

Clearly it has hints of '80s cheesiness all over, and it's a very light film, in terms of drama. Some of the scenes seem impossible (like sinking into the pool of gasoline to avoid burning flesh) and some lines are flat-out laughable ("He chose... poorly"). But the movie does harken back to a time when I was young and I could watch this movie 20 times in a row. Not sure I could do that now, but if anyone's in the mood for watching, I will not hesitate to put it in the BR.

No doubt the SO loves the film, as she can't decide who's hotter: Ford or Connery. Clearly that's a tough decision, as you have the greatest actor versus the greatest accent. Come on, Ford is the best actor because he was able to survive not only Star Wars fame but also Indiana Jones fame to do other films that are classics (e.g. Blade Runner, Patriot Games, Air Force One). And Connery can say anything, like, "I eat my poop" and women will come flocking to him with their panties down to their ankles. So it could be the greatest combo on film (may be questionable to say, but it's always something to debate).

Without a doubt, this film is staying, and that last film with Indy (which shall remain nameless) will NEVER be a part of my collection. That is a fact, no, a theory, no, a law! Later!

"Ah dear, the young. Why do they never listen? When will they ever learn?"

That statement is so true for this movie review, or should I say, miss-view. I can, without a doubt, say this will be the hardest movie to review as I literally saw the first twenty minutes and the last twenty minutes. How, you're saying, is that possible? I'd say it the combination of sleep deprivation, apartment cleaning, and a film that can somehow bore me to death. Yep, you guessed it, Clash of the Titans.

I'm guessing that it really isn't that boring, it just seems like the dialogue and action are really slow. I don't even mind the old special effects. I actually appreciate that fact of the movie, but I cannot get into this movie. One of the SO's faves, maybe that's why I have a tough time with it. Whatever movie she likes, I on average do not. But for most, I can at least stand it because the plot is half-way interesting.

So let's start there. We first see Perseus, son of Zeus, as an infant with his mother trapped in a coffin sent out to sea, as he is prophecied to lead to the destruction of his grandfather, King Acrisius of Argos. Zeus safely transports Perseus and his mom to Seriphos, while at the same time destroying Argos with the Kraken.

Move forward a couple decades, and we find Calibos, son of Thetis, engaged to be married to Andromeda, the heir to the city of Joppa. Calibos pisses off Zeus for killing all of his horses (minus Pegasus) and turns him into a goat-like creature, leading Thetis to proclaim that no man could marry Andromeda if her son Calibos could not. Of course, Perseus falls for Andromeda as he is transported from Seriphos to Joppa (thanks to Thetis). With the help of the gods, Perseus receives a sword, shield, and helmet to help him solve the riddle which will allow him to marry Andromeda.

Of course, Calibos prays to Thetis to take care of Perseus, but instead she threatens to destroy Joppa is the city does not sacrifice Andromeda to the Kraken. With the help of Bubo the mechanical owl, Perseus seeks out Medusa, to use her "stoning" abilities to defeat the Kraken. Perseus kills Medusa and takes her head, saving Andromeda from the Kraken. They live happily ever after, yada yada yada, they become constellations. The end.

The plot when read in mythology, is quite interesting. The way it's done in the movie, can't keep my attention going. I'm thinking I need to see it again after reading the plot on Wikipedia. Because reading it made it seem a whole lot cooler than watching it. Even with great actors, you can't make a great movie. Just look at Ocean's Twelve (and Thirteen). The great Laurence Olivier and Maggie Smith, the seductress Ursula Andress, and the handsome Harry Hamlin weren't enough to keep me awake. I remember Perseus being saved as an infant and then nothing, then getting the weapons and armor, then nothing, then getting Medusa's head until the end of the movie. That's it.

What probably kills the most is that it's a 2-hour movie that feels like 2 days. Maybe I need to get in the right mood, knock back a few appletinis, and then that movie might be the best thing since sliced bread.

All kidding aside, I'm going to need to view this movie again to get an accurate representation for my review. Rather than continue to hack away at this movie, I'm going to give it a second chance. It may not be soon, but soon enough I will sit down and watch it (as the SO's smile widens to the size of New Jersey, just on the thought of watching it again soon). Later!

"Still shooting first? Asking questions later?"

Never thought I'd be saying, let alone writing, these words down, but I had very low expectations for X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  

Since word first got out that this movie was happening, I was as giddy as a little school girl for this movie.  I thought that 20th Century Fox couldn't get it wrong twice in a row with X-Men, let alone Wolverine.  The first film would be X-Men: The Last Stand, which really disappointed me because everything that was good with the first two films in this series was really, really wrong in the third film.  It seemed like it was less about the story and more about blowing stuff up.  And don't even get me started about the "mutant levels"...

And so I thought that things couldn't really get messed up with the most popular mutant of X-Men.  Wolverine had to be the greatest X-Men member.  He sliced first, asked questions when it suited him.  He's everything that we wish we could be, meaning taking the initiative to get things done, no matter what it takes.  With the release of XO: Wolverine and its subsequent reviews, though, I thought this could get ugly.

I don't even know where to begin.  James Howlett (young Logan/Wolverine) finds his "father" killed by his real father, whose last name really is Logan but only finds this out after killing his real father with his boney hand claws.  James and his half-brother Victor Creed run away, to which we have a quick speed-up of time during the opening credits, learning that the brothers fought in the Civil War, World War I and II, and the Vietnam War.  At this point, time goes back to normal speed.  The boys get in trouble in a Vietnamese village, leading to death by firing squad, which they survive as they have the power to HEAL!

Williams Stryker approaches the two in their jail cell, and they agree to join his special elite team of mutants, including Wade Wilson, Fred Dukes, John Wraith, Agent Zero, and Chris Bradley.  Stryker is bent on finding the source of a meteorite in Africa and is willing to kill the innocent to find it.  Logan can take it no more and leaves to find a quiet life in Canada, where he starts a life with his girlfriend and has a career as a logger.  Stryker comes back into his life six years later, warning him that Victor is killing everyone involved in the elite team and wants Logan back.  Logan brushes him off, only to later deal with the death of his wife at the hands of Victor.  

Logan is persuaded by Stryker to be a part of Weapon X, which involves reinforcing his skeleton with adamantium, the stuff found in the meteorite.  Logan survives this, and Stryker is ready to wipe his memory so he can use Logan as his own personal weapon.  Logan gets word of this and escapes, only to be hunted down by Agent Zero.  Logan is able to defeat Agent Zero, and finds Wraith and Dukes, hoping to get some info on the whereabouts of Stryker's new laboratory.  After a hard-fought battle against Dukes, Logan learns of a mutant who was once held by Stryker in this lab, a gentleman in New Orleans who was described as "Gambit."  Logan is able to find Gambit and the lab, leading to a whole bunch of answers to the questions he had had since his time with Stryker.

To avoid any spoilers, I have to stop there.  Really, the first three-quarters of the movie was predictable and had been shown in all those trailers running on the networks.  Where it finally got interesting was in the "final battle" with an enemy ready to take down Logan.  Too bad the battle was all of five minutes!!  And the way that Logan has his memory wiped of his past was really hard to swallow.  I guess what I'm saying is it was nice to see it on the big screen, but it really could have been so So SO much better.

Way too many characters without enough development.  Yes, this was about Wolverine, but you still need to set the foundation to really run with it.  It seemed the writers were just trying to fit whoever they could into the film, even if it didn't really fit with the comic books or the storyline.  I really think the blades coming out of Wolverine's hands looked very CGI compared to those in the first three films.  Didn't think that was possible.  And what they did with Deadpool...

Maybe it was the shakiness of the projector or the fact that I didn't get the Transformers 2 trailer that I was told showed before this film, but I'm glad I kept the expectations low.  It was fun to discuss with the SO the little intricacies of the film and the history of the X-Men, the villains, and the spin-offs.  It really made us want to go through and read every comic available for the Marvel universe.

Finally, two things that were really wrong with the film.  One, no cameo by Stan Lee.  Un-freakin-believable!  How could you not have him in this film?  He's been in every Marvel film I've watched but not this one?  He's an executive producer, how could he be left out?!

And two, everyone started walking out just as the end credits started.  What was the kicker was the film returned for a short scene, so everyone stopped, including the fat guy who stopped right in front of me!  And to really add flame to the fire, everyone but the SO, myself, and one guy stayed to the very end to see the special easter egg at the end.  For all of you who left before the bitter end, how could you?!  Have you never watched a Marvel film before?  Who does that?

Ultimately, I know this will be a future DVD purchase, mainly because the SO will want to see a naked Hugh Jackman again.  But maybe the deleted and extended scenes will satisfy my thirst for a solid Wolverine origins film.  A bummer to write, but it's how I feel.  Later!

"It's not a piece of equipment, it's a suit! It's ME!"

Well, I thought I would take the time to get back to some writing... no, not thesis writing.  That can wait a bit (cue SO's glare... and continue).  No, what I need to write about is the last DVD I've actually watched.  It's been way too long, almost two weeks since I've seen it, but I think I can still do the movie justice.  Because the SO didn't want to decide on what to watch, I took the initiative to choose something with action, comedy, a little romance, something that really gets the blood pumping... a little something I like to call Iron Man.

So what's Iron Man about?  Have you been living in a hole for the past year?  This involves the origins of Iron Man, aka Tony Stark, a billionaire who gets his money from his design and construction of weapons.  He's a very arrogant man who "gets around" any way he likes.  The movie starts with Stark in a Hum-vee in Afghanistan, on his way back from a weapons demonstration.  Along the way, the convoy is attacked, and Stark is hit, so we fade to black.  Stark is held prisoner by a terrorist group, who want him to make his latest weapon, the Jericho missile, for them from weapons they have "confiscated" from Stark Industries.

Unbeknownst to Stark, he has a battery attached to an electromagnet in his chest, which is keeping schrapnel from collecting in his heart.  This contraption is the work of Dr. Yinsen, who helps Stark "create" the Jericho missile, which actually is Stark's way of creating a self-contained electromagnet powered by an arc reactor.  During his captivity, he has created a suit which allows him to escape, unfortunately without Dr. Yinsen.

Stark gets back to the United States to stop Stark Industries from producing weapons, while at the same time he works on a better suit.  With the help of Pepper Potts, Stark's assistant, and some "Stooges"-like robots, Stark is able to create his better suit, thus creating Iron Man.

Unfortunately, Stark finds out that his company has been supplying terrorists through his company's overseer, Obadiah Stane.  Because of his work with terrorists, he finds out the secrets to Stark's original suit, creating new suits through Stark Industries, which would create a new wave in weapons technology.  By incapacitating Stark, he's able to take the arc reactor to power his new suit.  Stark luckily has his old arc reactor, which he uses to power his Iron Man suit and fight Stane, who ultimately loses (because it's the movies).

Stark, in a press conference announces he is Iron Man, to which we see Mr. Badass himself, Samuel L. Jackson, as Col. Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. who wants to talk with Stark about the Avenger Initiative.  End movie.

It's really hard to write a synopsis of this movie without being wordy.  That's what happens with origin stories.  There's so much you have to set up in one movie in order for an entire film series to work.  Without it, Iron Man 2 would not take off.  That's not to say Hollywood wouldn't have tried to create a sequel, but the anticipation for it would have been less.  Suffice it to say, Iron Man is just as good on the little screen as it is on the big screen.  The action, the comedic relief, it's a very smooth movie with few faults.  Of course those who are closest to the original material might scoff at some of the ideas and plotlines that occurred, but for the average viewer, the film is a smash hit.

Easily, the SO likes it, so it's a keeper.  Probably one of the funnest movies we saw in the theatres when it came out.  Not being a devout follower of Iron Man, I thought the story moved very well, but then Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man made the entire movie experience.  He body language, his mood, his take on the role was something that just fit.  Without him, the movie doesn't work.

So in the end, this DVD is a keeper (it should be, I didn't even get the super duper deluxe version, just the regular single-disc widescreen... I know, I held back!).  Later!

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

I totally apologize for not writing for over two weeks on this blog.  If it wasn't lab work, it was school work.  If it wasn't school work, it was a sinus infection that made my head feel like someone was squeezing out the last drop of toothpaste from my noggin.  But with a majority of these distractions quieting down now, I can get back to more important things, and this is one of them.  In the time that I've been away, I've seen 4 movies, but not all were seen in one continuous loop.  I'll explain with the first of four reviews.

Almost two weekends ago, the SO  wanted to lighten up the memory load on the DVR, and since most of the movies I had kept on it were "boring" to her, it came as no surprise that we would watch 2001: A Space Odyssey.  I really don't where to being to describe the plot of this movie, but here goes...

Cue "Thus Spake Zarathustra" theme, which we all know as the theme to 2001, where we see the moon, earth, and sun in alignment.  We then go into the "Dawn of Man."  This basically entails where primates first learned to use bones as weapons to not only hunt but also to take down enemies.  They learn this all-important skill from a huge black bar, or monolith.  How this happens, I haven't a clue.  But at this end of this phase of the movie, the primate throws his weapon up into the sky and we move to the second phase of the movie, which is untitled.

Described as TMA-1, we are introduced to Dr. Heywood Floyd who travels to Clavius base, which is a U.S. base on the moon.  There has been a huge mystery surrounding this base, as no contact has been received from this region in some time.  The thought is an epidemic has broken out and killed any individuals there.  Dr. Floyd's actual purpose is to investigate an strange anomaly dug up on the moon that emits a magnetic signal.  This anomaly is described as "Tycho Magnetic Anomaly One," or TMA-1.  When Dr. Floyd and a group of scientists travel to this site, the huge black monolith is the anomaly, which emits a high-pitched signal and the second phase of the movie ends.

Third phase is described as "Jupiter Mission: Eighteen Months Later," or as I like to call it, "I knew we shouldn't have given computers artificial intelligence."  Yes, this is where we meet two space pilots headed to Jupiter with three scientists cryogenically frozen until they reach Jupiter, and HAL-9000, the computer that gives everyone the heebie-jeebies.  Everything is working fine until one day HAL reports something is wrong with the communications system.  When the two pilots start to question HAL, that's when HAL goes nuts.  Well, to make a long story short (which I'm sure the SO would like to have known BEFORE we started watching the movie), HAL is turned off and we find out from a video that the mission to Jupiter is because the monolith on the moon was sending the signal to Jupiter.

The final phase of the movie is called "Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite" or as I like to call it "It's time to do drugs and watch the pretty colors part of the movie."  Really, it's totally trippy as we follow the surviving pilot from the Jupiter mission continue his travels to Jupiter, but as he's getting there there are all these weird colors and lines the we see, which are intermittently disrupted by a close-up of the pilot's eye (in weird colors).  This goes on for what seems like 10 minutes, until we end up in a room with a slightly older version of the pilot.  We follow this version until it witnesses an even older version, until we eventually see the version ready to "kick the bucket" and at this point the monolith returns.  Then all of a sudden we see a fetus in a bubble and the musical theme of 2001.

So yeah, totally trippy movie from 1968, when it seemed like it was encouraged to take acid or smoke the mary jane and create a movie, besides using these drugs while watching it.  The SO said she had to watch it because it's considered the movie that is the foundation for science fiction movies since its premiere... but she wouldn't watch it again.  She said this after the third phase of the movie, when the DVR recording stopped...

Yeah, missed the last twenty minutes of the movie because TCM had it only going for two hours, and the movie is two hours AND twenty minutes long.  Kind of a bummer really, because we had to wait until it was on again five days later on another movie channel.  Kinda killed the buzz, especially if you were hoping to get the entire experience over quickly.  Which I think is how the SO felt, who was just dying during the slow parts of the movie (which is most of it, for her anyways).  And the strange singing/screaming when the monolith entered the film...

So at least we won't have to buy the DVD.  And even though it is this monumental film, when it first premiered in theatres, it was panned.  Only after watching it a second and third time did reviewers give it the praise it has received for over forty years.

Funny story (not really funny at all...for me, anways), the first time I watched this movie was with my father which was not a good idea.  Imagine watching this movie with your dad, who's strong in his Christian beliefs and the start of the movie begins with an evolutionary theme.  Awkward...

So it's a historical movie for science fiction, but I'm going to guess it's the only time the SO will ever watch it.  I think it's pretty cool, at least for the music, but it's going to remain one of this films that only will be viewed by these blue eyes when I have to introduce it to someone naive to the movie.  Hoping that will be a long time from now...

Later!

"So you want me to be half-monk, half-hitman"

So I apologize for the tardiness of my posts over the past two weeks.  With everything that is going on this semester, it seems I only have time to keep my mind on one thing.  And unfortunately, it hasn't been this blog.  But that changes today, even though I still have plenty to work on.  And even though this really wasn't written on the post date, it would have been the correct date for my Monday reviews, as I actually watched a DVD this weekend, the first (and I think only) for the month of March.  Not to worry, there will be another review that will show up, just that it is from a movie on the DVR (I really hope it doesn't die, because I have too many movies and shows on there that I can't miss!).

For this weekend's selection, I had to go with something that needed action.  Although the first weekend of March Madness has plenty of excitement, I had to break the monotony of basketball with real action excitement: guns, explosions, and fast cars (along with some fast women!).  It also made sense to watch this weekend's selection as the sequel is soon coming out on DVD and I need to decide if I will buy brand spankin' new or wait 'til it hits the proverbial $10 rack (it almost always seems like there are DVDs there that I need).  So what movie could this possibly be?  Of course, the most obvious of all obvious choices: Casino Royale.

With a new James Bond (Daniel Craig) in the mutli-decade film series, the geniuses running it all decided to start from the beginning, using Ian Fleming's first written incarnation as the inspiration for the film.  At the beginning of the film, we see how Bond earns his double zero status as 007.  We also learn of a scheme by the villain of the movie, Le Chiffre, to invest funds from a guerrilla group in Uganda into a successful stock portfolio.  I know, exciting stuff but it gets better.  In order to make a profit, Le Chiffre relies on short selling successful companies and profiting by engineering terrorist attacks to sink their stock values.  Creative, huh?

How Bond gets mixed into this is his involvement of capturing an international bomb-maker, whose cell phone has a message from an associate of Le Chiffre.  Following the trail, Bond is able to thwart any plans of a terrorist attack on a prototype airliner.  Le Chiffre, in order to get the profits needed (i.e. the guerrilla group wants their money... by any means necessary) sets up a high-stakes poker tournament.  As the best there supposedly is, Bond infiltrates his way into getting a seat at the poker table.  He meets up with Rene Mathis, an ally, and Vesper Lynd, a treasury agent who provides the money necessary to enter the tournament.  All kinds of action ensues (although the SO was bored out of her gourd at this point).  Bond is able to win the tournament,  but Le Chiffre doesn't allow him to get away that easily, torturing Bond and Vesper, but Mr. White (a very mysterious character) eliminates Le Chiffre.

Bond orders the arrest of Mathis (during the torture, he's exposed as a double agent) and professes his love for Vesper, while at the same time leaving his agent life behind.  On a romantic holiday, Bond learns the poker winnings were never deposited back into the Treasury, with a tantalizing ending for Bond.  Not only for his love, but also for his life as an agent.

Rather than spoil the ending for you, I'll leave it at that.  As far as I know, the latest Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, picks up where Casino Royale left off.  Which makes it that much more exciting for me to own sooner rather than later.  But I bought CR for $10 and I feel I should do the same for QS.  I know I would be putting less towards the SO's yarn/shoes fund, and that makes me feel better about waiting.  But oh, how I love Bond movies.

The SO?  For an action movie, she wasn't too thrilled.  This is also the girl who had a sinus infection at the time and was less responsive than I am for a day of shoe shopping.

I thoroughly enjoyed it, although I miss Pierce Brosnan as Bond.  But I do realize we all have to move on at some point.  Craig probably wouldn't be my first choice, but he doesn't do a bad job to the film series (not like Timothy Dalton - man, those movies were rough!).  Am I glad I made the purchase?  Hell yeah!  I only own CR and Die Another Day, so I'm not the proud owner of the entire series, but I might start keeping the latest and greatest versions of Bond.  Especially if they really delve into what makes Bond the suave yet powerful agent worthy of double-zero status.

More posts to write, involving buying DVDs!  I know, so exciting!  So I'm off to complete those posts.  Later!

Who didn't watch the Watchmen?!?

Clearly, this is the start of a new week for me.  Last week, I intermittently sent out posts for this blog, but I wasn't consistent like I had been in past weeks.  Now that I've done the hard work last week, I can focus on more important things, like this blog.  And this week starts not with a DVD review but an actual MOVIE review.  That's right, The Spoo went out to the theatres for the first time since The Dark Knight (come on, I'm poor and I only go to see movies that should be seen on a ginormous screen).  And in this situation, a movie finally warranted that need to go to the theatre, nay, the IMAX theatre!  Only one movie could fit that bill, and it is...WATCHMEN!!!

To really bring it all back together, The Dark Knight is the reason why I was waiting on pins and needles for Watchmen.  The big preview before viewing The Dark Knight was a trailer for Watchmen, and because it highlighted the graphic novel as the most celebrated of its genre, that had to mean something!  I mean, people do not just put gradiose titles on just anything...

I think just about everyone who's anyone that's read a review knows the general plot of the movie.  It's an alternate 1985 world, where masked heroes are outlawed and Richard Nixon is still president.  The Comedian, a masked "hero", is murdered at the beginning of the story, and another masked hero, Rorshach, wants to find out who would want to get rid of masked heroes.  Because not soon after this murder, Dr. Manhattan (the only true SUPERhero of the story) exiles himself to Mars, leaving the other masked heroes to ponder what is happening.  Rorshach calls upon other exiled heroes like Nite Owl II to solve this mystery.  Deepening the plot of ridding the world of masked heroes, Ozymandias (one of the few heroes to retire and reveal his identity) has his life threatened by a potential assassin, and Rorshach is framed for the murder of an ex-villain.  Nite Owl II and Silk Spectre II decide to break Rorschach out of jail and find out who's trying to rid the world of masked heroes as the world tiptoes closer to nuclear annhilation (oh yeah, the US and USSR still hate each other in the Cold War).  Ultimately, Rorschach, Nite Owl II and Silk Spectre II find out who (or what) is responsible for all this, with a truly climactic finish.

So what did I think?  Because of the trailer back in July, I immediately went out and bought the novel to read it and was blown away by how the story went back and forth from the present to the past, how animation is mixed with specific readings that not only provide clues but also increase questions about what's going on.  I was totally confused in the beginning, trying to understand what it all meant, and only at the end did it all click.

Prior to the movie, I re-read the novel to jog my memory and pick up on the details in the movie.  Now the beginning of the movie is f'ing awesome.  It follows the plot pretty closely.  I was worried that it might be too slow for civilians (people unfamiliar with the novel) but my BF really liked it.  The SO had mixed feelings, but I'll get into that later.  I thought the idea of World War III was underplayed.  The novel makes it feel like everything's going to get blown up at any second, and the movie only seemed to worry about who killed the Comedian.  I missed the real "whodunit" aspect of the novel, even though it seemed like one of the most important parts of the movie.  I was glued to the novel just to know how it all played out.  There were so many characters, places, dates, and events that I had to keep straight in my mind that at the end, I had a huge "A-HA!" moment at the climax of the novel that I didn't feel it in the movie.

Even with that, it seemed like there could have been greater development of the characters.  Loved the action, although it did seem excessive in places.  Loved the music, but it was too cliched in the love scene with Nite Owl II and Silk Spectre II.  The music didn't always potentiate the scene, it only reiterated the sentiment.  Although I did get a kick out of My Chemical Romance's take on Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row."  I almost think more of the songs (especially those referenced in the novel) should have been redone to tie in the past with the "present" 1985 with 2009 (but I wouldn't have wanted that to get too out of hand).  

What it comes down to is this: I am so glad Watchmen made it to the big screen.  As a recent fanboy, I wanted to see it in all its IMAX glory.  But it sometimes seemed to miss the point of what Alan Moore (writer of the graphic novel) was trying to say in the novel.  Yet, in the final scene of the movie, I felt Dan Snyder (director) got it right and all was right with the movie.  Even though it seemed like so much more could have been added (I wasn't even phased by the 2 hour 41 minutes length - it could have been twice as long and I would still have thought it wasn't long enough), the movie was great.  

I think that if you've read the novel, you might be slightly disappointed but it's such an event that it has to be seen on the big screen (I love IMAX!).  If you haven't read it, go see it, then read the novel and really appreciate what was done not only in the novel but how limited it was in the movie (even with those limitations, Snyder tried to get as much into it).  I think the SO needs to read the novel because even she felt the characters were underdeveloped, especially Silk Spectre II (I know she felt it just seemed like there was something missing that would have made it make sense to civilians).  Female characters in the novel were much stronger than the movie portrayed.  For me, I can't wait for the Director's Cut DVD with scenes from "Tales of the Black Freighter" inserted (TBF was a comic within the novel and really encapsulated the atmosphere in a nuclear-laden world - even in today's world, the paranoia surrounding the war on terror parallels the feelings around a potential nuclear world war).

Please go see it, because I hope it will make you go out and read the novel, which changed how I thought about the graphic novel genre.  So much can be said in the novel that I didn't think could be possible.  So as much as I thought there could have been more, it was wonderful.  Later!

Let's create some chaos, shall we?

"So there I was..."

"Funny story..."

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you..."

Any of those would do for this past weekend "Infinite Things That Could Go Wrong and Will Go Wrong Game Show."  But I digress...

So let's start with the happy bits, since that's where the story begins Friday evening.  I had chosen three possible movies to start this blog off right.  There were three obvious choices.  The first had to be Star Wars (none of this Episode IV: A New Hope stuff, it's Star Wars, plain and simple.  If you have a problem with that, go take it up with the other millions of fans who totally agree with me, am I right?).  The movie has everything: action, drama, suspense, and a little sister-on-brother action.  How can that fail as my first choice?  

Well, the second obvious choice would be the very first DVD I ever bought.  That, of course, would have to be The Matrix (before it got downright stupid with the whole "Neo as the Messiah" complex).  Because it was the first DVD purchased, shouldn't it have the right to be the foundation for what this blog stands for (what does this blog stand for?  Oh...right, the whole "don't want my SO to sell any - and I mean ANY - of my DVDs" thing).

The third choice would have to be the dark horse of the bunch.  A movie that simply catapulted to the top of my fave movie list of all-time.  Something with a little kick to humanity, The Dark Knight.  Now, I know, it could be the recency effect, it could be because I bought the DVD  a month ago and have been DYING to watch it again (although it's just not the same without my own personal IMAX screen).

After much deliberation, I finally chose a movie that stood for truth, justice, and...

I chose The Dark Knight.  Was there another choice?

Amazingly enough, the SO watched it (even with her fear of clowns).  And when I mean watch it, I mean she watched the parts without the Joker or his clown-faced henchmen.  Yeah, I know.  After the movie, she said it was okay but felt it wasn't what everyone had talked about.  Really?  Really?!?

Without Joker, it's like watching only the black-and-white parts of The Wizard of Oz.  Of course you're going to say that.  The movie should have been called The Joker steals the movie from Batman again because Batman has no personality and needs to take the Joker's medicine once in a while, just to loosen up a bit.  Who has the nerve to say this movie isn't great, especially when you miss the best parts of the movie?  The whole thing had to do with Joker making us feel very uncomfortable (especially with the soundtrack to match the intensity) in every single one of his scenes, because we have no idea if he's going to go bat-shit crazy on the screen, no pun intended (okay, a little intended).

In my review, I simply loved how the entire movie is laid out in front of us, before we actually get to some of the scenes.  So many clues that foretell what will happen, if you pay attention and know how movies go.  The best scenes are with the Joker, and I have to say the music played with the Joker just made it that much more creepy, that much more scary, and I loved it.  I've now seen the movie 3 times, and yet I still feel like the Joker could do something different.  He's that unpredictable.  Thank you, Heath Ledger.  We finally got to see what could truly be done with a character who doesn't care one iota about humanity and just wants to see it cave in on itself (If interested in understanding where Ledger got his inspiration, read The Killing Joke).

I give it two Agents of Chaos (out of five, that's how crazy the movie is).  For my action/adventure/sci-fi/fantasy/thriller movies.  I'll give out Agents of Chaos, based on a five-point scale (yeah, I make up the rules as I go along - it's the Joker in me).

In my next post right after this, I'll dive into why it was the weekend from Hell...